Painting, Painting, Painting And More Painting

So I've been wanting to paint the house since.... well pretty much since we moved it. Well this week I have decided I'm going to do it. I'm tired of looking at the drab grey walls. I could really use some help. If ANYONE would like to help out with either painting or keeping the kids occupied while I paint please email me or call me. My email is jess.buckley4507@gmail.com. I would really like to have this finished this weekend so any help, even if it's just an hour or two, would mean a lot.

Ok, so it’s after 2am here, 2:20 to be exact, and I’m unable to fall asleep. I have this problem pretty much every night. Some nights I’ll even start to drift off while watching TV or browsing the internet, or whatever else, and as soon as I go lay down I’m wide awake. John would say "just go lay down and you’ll fall right asleep" because, typically, when he’s home I do just that. But with him being gone I just can’t. I’ve never been able to sleep well when John wasn’t home. I just can’t do it. I feel so unsafe and paranoid that something bad will happen in the night and I would be helpless to stop it. If you’ve ever been to our house then you would know that we only have the one lock on the door knob in the kitchen and two locks on the front door, not a lot of protection if you ask me. I hate not feeling safe in my own house and I hate sleeping alone. I hate it. I hate having this feeling in the pit of my stomach that something is going to happen to me and the kids while John is gone. I’m so scared that I just stay awake until I can’t keep my eyes open anymore, and then the next day I’m so exhausted and have no energy from my lack of sleep the night before. I am moody and irritable with the kids and have no energy to do anything during the day. I guess you could say I’m depressed overall right now. I hate feeling this way. My biggest fear is John not coming home. Sure, he says he will come home, but I’m sure all soldiers tell their family that. I guess I’ll just have to believe it when I see it.

Festival of Lights

Hey everyone, Kristin and I are planning a trip to the zoo for the Festival of Lights on Sunday December 28th. We'll be going in the evening, probably sometime between 6-7 pm. If anyone would like to come along with us send me an email at jess.buckley4507@gmail.com so we can coordinate times and where to meet and what not.

Just a Few Things

So I know it's been a really long time since I've last posted but, as you can imagine, my plate is pretty full right now. There are a few things I'd like to address, things that are coming from me, John and both of us.

Babysitting/Helping me with kids etc.
I know there were some that were a little upset by John's last blog post about helping me more. I just want everyone to know that if you have helped in any way, even if it was just once, or if you have offered but weren't able to help for any reason, thank you. His blog post was in no way directed towards you. His blog post was directed towards the people that said before he left "if you need anything let me know", but have not once offered to come and help me out. I have posted on here a few times (not recently, I know) that I've needed someone but have only gotten a few offers from the same people every time. I know some of you have said that you want to come help but you don't know me that well so you don't know how to go about asking or you're not sure if I would let you, you are John's family which makes you my family as well, if he trusts you then I will take his word for it. Please don't be afraid to offer to help me!!! I welcome it! Another thing, I can't ask people for help if I don't have a way to contact them. If you don't want to help then that's fine, but please don't say to me "if you need anything let me know", because that does me no good. I've posted my email address on here so you all know how to get a hold of me, and if for some reason I don't respond (for some reason I don't always get emails on this account, Melanie can testify to that) you can also try me at this email jess.buckley4507@gmail.com. If you choose to step up then great but if not then I must say that I am terribly disappointed. I'm not going to post every time I need someone, right now I'm just taking the help as it's offered, and I'm not going to call because I really just don't have the time for it. This is me asking for help. It is not something I ask for often because, as those of you closest to me know, I am usually let down.

Packages/Letters to John
John has asked me to let everyone know that the packages, letters and postcards are great and to keep them coming. This is a huge thing for his morale. There are days that he's not getting any mail and it really bums him out. Please, it does not take much time to write him a quick note or drop a postcard in the mail to let him know how much we at home are thinking about him. When sending packages please remember not to send any more candy, sweets and flavored drink mixes. Things to send that John really likes are tuna packets (they are easier and less messy than cans), chicken (I have no idea how he's getting this, in a can or packet maybe?), sugar free Rockstar energy drinks (he really likes these) and Mission tortillas (these can be gotten at Kroger's). Another big thing for him is pictures of me and the kids. I try to take pictures as much as I can but it's not easy to take pictures of myself doing stuff with the kids so please, if you have your camera with you or if you see I have mine then snap away! He needs more physical pictures, not ones sent to him on the computer so please keep that in mind when sending him packages as well.

I think that's about it for now. Thank you to everyone that has been helping out and supporting our soldier. The kids and I look forward to seeing everyone for Christmas!

Need a Babysitter

I know it's short notice but I'm in need of a babysitter for Saturday night. I'm attending a wedding for one of John's cousins and almost forgot about it until a few days ago when Joan reminded me (sorry Shauna and Brad). If you're available please email me at jess_buckley@fuse.net and I'll give you the details. Thanks so much.

John's APO

353rd Transportation Company
ATTN SSG Buckley, John 5605
COB Q West Base Complex Iraq
APO AE 09351

Babysitters Needed *UPDATE*

Ok, I've got my babysitters for my trip to Ft Dix to see John. I just wanted to thank Joan, Jeneen, Mick and my mom for volunteering to help out. John and I both appreciate this a lot.