Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Ok, so it’s after 2am here, 2:20 to be exact, and I’m unable to fall asleep. I have this problem pretty much every night. Some nights I’ll even start to drift off while watching TV or browsing the internet, or whatever else, and as soon as I go lay down I’m wide awake. John would say "just go lay down and you’ll fall right asleep" because, typically, when he’s home I do just that. But with him being gone I just can’t. I’ve never been able to sleep well when John wasn’t home. I just can’t do it. I feel so unsafe and paranoid that something bad will happen in the night and I would be helpless to stop it. If you’ve ever been to our house then you would know that we only have the one lock on the door knob in the kitchen and two locks on the front door, not a lot of protection if you ask me. I hate not feeling safe in my own house and I hate sleeping alone. I hate it. I hate having this feeling in the pit of my stomach that something is going to happen to me and the kids while John is gone. I’m so scared that I just stay awake until I can’t keep my eyes open anymore, and then the next day I’m so exhausted and have no energy from my lack of sleep the night before. I am moody and irritable with the kids and have no energy to do anything during the day. I guess you could say I’m depressed overall right now. I hate feeling this way. My biggest fear is John not coming home. Sure, he says he will come home, but I’m sure all soldiers tell their family that. I guess I’ll just have to believe it when I see it.
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2 comments:
I WILL COME SLEEP WITH YOU. LOL I SNORE AND TALK IN MY SLEEP...YOU SHOULD GET A DOG THEN YOU WILL HAVE SOMEONE TO MAKE YOU FEEL SAFE AND SLEEP WITH UNTIL JOHN GETS HOME!!
Hi Jess,
The dog idea is a good one actually if it's not to much more work for you. They will let you know when the wrong persons are around after they figure out who's who.
Also, there is what is called "sleep hygiene" and it has nothing to do with cleanliness! :o). You have to make your bedroom into a place for sleep and sleep alone. The idea is that your body learns that when you go into your bedroom, it's lights out. That means no TV, snacking in bed, etc. It's important to go to bed at a regular time and prepare for bed in a routine like fashion. This lets your body know that it's time for bed, and it is suppose to respond accordingly. Watch the caffeine in the evenings and at night, no excercising either, or anything that gets your body going in the "non sleep" direction.
It's hard to shut off the mind, but if you try reading your Bible every night, I can almost guarentee you that you will fall asleep fast!
You might try some soft music, or sounds like water running ( rivers, ponds etc. , you can buy a small water fountain and put it in your bedroom, that worked for me, but it also made me want to get up and use the bathroom alot...just kidding! It did help actually. Sounds of the ocean waves or any natural sound CD might help and it blocks out any outside noises that make you nervous.
I hope something I said helps some. Drink warm milk..that works too...really.
Rachele
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